Thursday, May 29, 2014

The Vows

We've been asked to post the vows that we exchanged on Sunday, as some guests couldn't hear them due to mumbling on our parts or, perhaps, the pitter-patter-thud of driving rain. With that in mind, we re-present...THE VOWS

(The ceremony starts with CHRIS BANKS performing the beautiful “Get Here” on guitar. With unrivaled precision, groomsmen and bridesmaid march down the small aisle. Flower girls do an excellent job at both flower distribution and making certain no petals remain in their baskets, with ringbearers in tow.)

CHRISTIAN, the officiant:
I’d like to welcome everyone to the union of Morgan Malmquist Dutton and David Bruce Johnston.

We'd like to start by thanking all of you who have travelled here for this joyous occasion. No matter if you’re a Seattleite or you’ve traveled from around the world, it means so much to Morgan and Dave that you have come to celebrate this special occasion with them.

It's been a dozen years since Morgan and Dave first met, though it was only three years ago that they realized they shared a true connection. It was then that a friendship developed into a romance.

We are here to celebrate the transition of their romance into the beginning of a lifelong partnership. They are promising to support each other through the days to come, and to provide friendship and love for the rest of their lives.

While a wedding is a collection of many blessings, we would be remiss if we did not acknowledge that Morgan and Dave are already blessed. They have a daughter due in September and we’re all looking forward to welcoming her into this world.

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single flame and the life of the flame will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. May this candle of light and love always shine brightly upon you all.

(Another lovely song performed by CHRIS BANKS on guitar)

Now Morgan and Dave will exchange vows.

Dave, you are the kindest, sweetest, funniest best person I know.

I love that you make me laugh every morning and every night, as well as most of the day.

I love that you laugh at my jokes. And I promise to laugh at your jokes, unless they’re not funny. And then I’ll just pretend that I didn’t hear you very well.

I love that you support me when I need it most, when I’m working hard, when I need a break, or when my heels are too tall.

I love that you make me a better person, though I wasn’t too shabby to start with.

I love that you demonstrate your love every day through your actions first and not just your words.

I vow to take the recycling out on Wednesday. At least once a year.

I promise to love you and support you through thick and thin. Though after September, we can both work on being a little thinner.

I vow to keep loving your silly little black dog, though I guess when we’re done today, she will be legally my silly little black dog, too.

I promise to honor and respect you throughout our lives together. To laugh with you, to care for you, to work with you, and to build a beautiful life together.

Morgan, I adore you. I wake up next to you, or our new six-foot-long body pillow, and it makes me so happy to have you there. It’s such a wonderful way to start every day.

I love that you believe in a society based on rules and, just as firmly, believe that those rules have absolutely nothing to do with you.

I love that you are truly the world’s worst detective, as well as your continued inability to solve the Case of Where Are My Shoes?

I love that you are generous and kind and beautiful. I love the way you think and express yourself, and that you know the Latin names of trees and the current state of Turkish politics.

I love that you agreed to marry me and have a child with me in the same year. And, as long as we’re doing that, I thought we might plan a bank robbery or take up chainsaw juggling.

I love that you are generous to a fault and that then you probably offered that fault to a friend who needed it.

I love that being with you is easy. Like super easy. Life can be difficult, but being with you never is. Interesting as hell at times, certainly, but never difficult.

I vow to always help you find your shoes… and your keys… and your phone.

I promise to not blink when you or your family members use butter as both a condiment and an entrée.

I vow to always answer back when you tell me “I love you” and tell you that I love you, too.

Finally, I promise to always be there when you wake up. And if I’m not there, it’s probably because your view is obscured by a six-foot-long body pillow.

Morgan and Dave will now exchange rings.

(Handsome young ringbearers hand rings to Dave. Due to reasons that he cannot explain, Dave inexplicably holds on to them and does not, as instructed, exchange rings.)

Morgan Dutton. Do you take this man to be your husband and partner?

I do.

Dave Johnston. Do you take this woman to be your wife and partner?

I do.

This is a moment of celebration. But it’s more than just a moment, Morgan and Dave, we want to wish you a lifetime of celebrations and joy. And now, by the power invested in us by your trust, and the State of Washington, we now pronounce you Husband and Wife.

(Realizing, at this moment, that they have missed the original ring exchange window, Morgan and Dave hurriedly exchange rings.)

(To Dave) You may now kiss the Bride.

(To Morgan) You may now kiss the Groom.

(To the Audience) Ladies and Gentlemen, may we present Dave and Morgan as Husband and Wife!